our culture is so fucked up that necrophilia carries more of a social taboo than rape.
PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M NUTS WHEN I SAY THAT NECROPHILIA IS NOT THAT HORRIBLE
LIKE IT’S GROSS AND UNSANITARY AND I GUESS “DISRESPECTFUL” TO THE CORPSE BUT LIKE
NO ONE’S GETTING HURT (except the necrophile if they… contract something)
i don’t know how to respond to this other than to say…why are you so excited about defending necrophilia?
……………………….you literally made the first post and i was agreeing with you?
like i said, necrophila is gross and disrespectful to the body but like
it’s not some horrific thing like rape, pedophilia, or murder
i just get pissed that people say it’s WORSE than someone living being ACTUALLY HURT
i’m glad that your response to me agreeing with you is to imply that i’m “excited” about defending necrophilia
this is such a bizarre perspective
if someone is murdered and their body sexually assaulted after they have died, do we disregard the latter act because “nobody was hurt”?
if we can reasonably assume someone would not want have someone to have sex with their dead body, wouldn’t having sex with their body be a violation of their consent, or does the notion of a living person’s consent lose all value when they die?
what about those who fetishize necrophilia because they like the idea of a nonresisting, totally malleable target who cannot fight back or say no? I mean, I’ve seen magazines where people make dummies that look like the corpses of celebrities and pose them sexily, ffs. Dehumanization/fetishization of the dead cannot occur without some dehumanization/fetishization of the living. Do you not see how intimately this is tied in with rape culture, a real thing that hurts actual living people? The OP was merely pointing out that act, separated from its context, is more stigmatized, not that it never hurts anyone ever.
I am going through a friend’s notes for a workshop on “transformative justice/sexual assault”, and I want to beat the shit out of the workshop leaders holy fuck, it’s just a big mess of “if you hold rapists accountable you are supporting the prison-industrial complex and are also responsible if they get arrested and convicted and raped in prison, btw their feelings are just as important as those of the people they raped, haven’t we all done bad things after all?”
harm happens and we don’t condemn anything
I’ve never asked anyone to reblog anything before, and I probably won’t again. But I am now - because this matters.
The Steubenville rape victim, when offered money for her legal expenses or counselling, asked that people donated to a shelter for abused women and children in her county, Madden House, instead.
Her attorney spoke in a local news article on why the family wanted this, and said they hope very much that “the attention … can help other people that have been victimized by this type of crime,” Fitzsimmons said, “and give them some strength and some assurance that people are there to help them when that happens.”
You can donate as little as $2 via your Paypal account to Madden House. (You can also navigate their website from that link, to be sure it’s a charity you can also believe in.) When I donated back in January, they had a message up that said, “Every single cent says, ‘We believe you, and we care.’” They had to remove it almost at once. I’m sure you can deduce the reasons why, in a case where even her status as “victim” was challenged before the trial.
The best way to show you support Jane Doe is to make a donation, however small and leave a Paypal note when you do saying “In the name of Jane Doe, Steubenville.” They are telling her how many people donate in her name so it’s a direct way of letting her know. Even if all you can afford is a dollar, a thousand Tumblr users donating that is a thousand dollars for abuse victims. And it’s also a thousand people telling her directly that they, unlike the likes of CNN and her erstwhile “friends”, care about her, support her, and believe in her. It’s what she has actually asked people to do. In a case where she has been so effectively silenced and sidelined, I think acknowledging she’s been heard is particularly important.
I think it says so much about this girl and her parents, that when met with offers of serious money they immediately asked that it went to a charity that helps other victims of violence instead. They are extraordinary people in my opinion, and that’s why she had the strength to come forward. Images of two other girls, naked and face down on that basement carpet, were found on a phone. The boy insisted he’d never seen them before, and had no idea who they were of. Jane Doe may well not have been speaking up only for herself. She has very possibly saved others with her courage. She deserves so much more respect than the mainstream media have given her.
If you can’t donate, I really do understand. I’ve been broke before too. But please, do reblog. Get the message out. There is a genuine, positive way to support the victim, in the way she has asked for, and this is it.
Sorry it’s so long. There are so many scams online that I wanted to provide ample links, so there can be no doubt this is legit. Please, if you can, donate/reblog. Show Jane Doe what you think of her.
This unholy marriage of rape culture with the cult of forgiveness means that some people forget that actions should, and do, have consequences for very good reason. Certainly, there are issues with the American criminal justice system (alternatively, the prison-industrial complex). No doubt, forgiveness on the part of victims of horrendous crimes is sometimes helpful to them in their healing process. None of that erases the need to hold people accountable for their actions, and in the case of Steubenville, there is no dearth of documentation proving that a great wrong did not simply occur, but was actively committed by people sure that their actions would never be taken to task. How else to explain the lack of shame, the creation and sharing of evidence proving the crime, the sheer arrogance expressed in said evidence?
Though punishment is not always a deterrent at all, let alone the best deterrent, allowing for the forgiveness narrative to allow people who commit staggeringly heinous crimes to walk away does not exactly send the right message to those who believe themselves to be above the law, or even basic respect for others’ humanity, agency, and bodily autonomy. Most people behave with common decency because they are commonly decent, but they’re not the ones about whom we have to worry.
Rape Culture Rules:
1. you’re not attractive and thus you should be thankful anyone wanted to fuck you
2. you’re so ugly we feel sorry for your rapist
3. you’re so disgusting you are not human and thus your assault is absurd and comical
which all revolve around the notion that the rapist is the real human and rape the humanizing force, therefore when rape occurs to people who are marked as less-than it’s not a crime, it’s charity (and how dare you be revulsed by charity?)
if there was one thing I could stamp on everyone’s brains (other than “DON’T RAPE AND ABUSE PEOPLE”), it’s that just because you didn’t see the accused rapist/abuser acting like a rapist/abuser, it doesn’t mean shit
everybody can admit that there are people in the world who treat other very differently depending on criteria that range from justified to bigoted to arbitrary. most of us have, on the small scale, encountered a person who got along with everyone else but seemed to have it out for us for reasons that are unclear.
so why is that concept so fucking hard to scale up? how many serial rapists and murderers had wives and kids and active roles in the community while they went out and attacked other people (usually people like sex workers and the homeless and other populations who are extremely vulnerable and not viewed as fully human by society)? why is it so hard to accept that maybe that person who’s so nice to you could have done harm to someone else, but so easy to imagine that the other person is risking alienation and retaliation just to be mean to your buddy? you are not the center of the universe. you are not omniscient. you are not representative of every other person in the world. what happens to you is not a reflection of what always happens.
and hey, maybe the accused have behaved badly around you, but you just didn’t realize it at the time. one of the reasons such violence is so prevalent is because we have rationalizations for all kinds of fucked-up behaviors. we excuse predatory actions all the time! we guilt people for NOT rationalizing it away, for NOT finding an excuse for it! maybe it made you uncomfortable, but your desire to maintain peace in your own life led you to accept a flimsy explanation.
To be supportive, you must make an honest assessment of your own behavior, even if it incriminates you. You cannot support survivors if you are unwilling to be uncomfortable. Maybe this is as simple as refusing to entertain gossip, maybe it’s as difficult as ending relationships, but if your first instinct is to maintain your own comfort (which is very different from maintaining one’s safety, safety can be tremendously uncomfortable), then you are as good as complicit in rape and abuse, whatever credentials you might try to provide to the contrary.