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how ~unambiguous~ does abuse have to be before you’re allowed to talk about it without having to disclose your personal history

in this society, very few abusive relationships between adults are initiated with rape, or a blow to the head, or 30 minutes of screaming insults

there is a lot that has to happen before someone will endure that, and it’s murky and confusing and hard to discern and explain. talking about it will make other people uncomfortable, because our culture tolerates a lot of ugliness that we don’t like to analyze. a beating or sexual assault is easier to critique, because we are far less likely to find ourselves explaining it away. we are far less likely to have done it ourselves.

if we cannot talk about ambiguity and how it can be used against us, how can we educate others about what abusive relationships can look like before they’re neck deep?