wow there is like nothing this man won’t co-opt eh
hey shouldn’t a badass feminist man at least bother to pretend to understand if a woman says she finds your behavior threatening? but instead he turns around and acts as if he himself is being threatened.
garlandgrey is a piece of shit just so everyone knows
ahahaha tbh the moment desliz posted that, I totally saw garland pulling a Schwyzer-esque “OMG DEATH THREAT” poor victimized male feminist thing
y’all are so predictable
lol I was just wondering last night if they’re friends
Good times remembering when I said something like “I’m kinda starting to wish that actual harm would befall Hugo Schwyzer” and he reacted like I had threatened to come to his house
Where I would still be in more danger than him since he does actually have a history of trying to kill women
I wonder if Hugo Schwyzer and Garland Grey and that Snowdrop Explodes guy who talked about the time he planned to rape and murder a woman ever get together and talk about how awesome it is that they get paid to write about feminism and how easy it is for them to dismiss women’s legitimate concerns
He may not have tried to kill anyone, but he’s certainly in the same vein. These guys clearly believe they can say and do anything about women online, but the minute someone says ‘Hey, I live near you and am willing to call you out on your bullshit in person”, it’s suddenly threatening and discourteous (and probably unladylike too). It becomes even more absurd considering how horribly he’s has behaved and the fact that info I “speculated” about is in fact info that he himself has made publicly available online. The message is clear - women have no right to hold men accountable for their words and actions in any venue said men cannot control or ignore. Male feminists, everybody!
Alex L. currently lives in Baltimore. He is from NY, plays music in Alex And The Imaginary Friends, and has been involved in various projects in this city.
*TRIGGER WARNING* ThIs post includes discussions of rape and abusive behavior. Please read with care.
In 2009, I was raped by Jordan Epstein, a prominent member of the Baltimore DIY/punk community and a collective member of Charm City Art Space (CCAS). When my experience became public, I was invalidated, harassed, and violently threatened by collective members of CCAS (some of who still hold collective membership). Though Jordan was eventually banned from the collective after weeks of social pressure and a statement was released, my experience and the overall issue of rape and sexual assault were not taken seriously. “Efforts” made by CCAS were referred to by it’s collective members as “damage control.”
Jordan did not respect my requests made and left the country in the middle of this process. He has not been held accountable. CCAS has also not been held accountable for their response.
Alex L.’s involvement:
Alex blatantly disregarded my request for people to stop supporting CCAS and not only continued attending shows there, but playing them and promoting the space. I requested that the people supporting me and other friends did not go to or support CCAS. Alex was aware of this request and not only continued attending shows, but playing them and promoting the space. When confronted by multiple people, he communicated that he knew it was fucked up, but felt like he didn’t have other options for other places to play and knew that people were going to take issue with him regardless. I did not have an expectation for people to blindly comply with this request. I was open to conversation about why it was made. Furthermore, the fact that “safe space” can and does not exist was not the point of this request, as Alex had critiqued to other people. As I stated, CCAS was supporting my rapist, had invalidated my experience, and had violently threatened me for making it public. This clearly was not a “safe space” and I was not interested in focusing my energy on trying to make it one. However, Alex did not try to engage in conversation with me about this and instead blatantly disregarded and complained about being asked to stop supporting CCAS.
Alex stayed friendly with my rapist and communicated about personal conversations regarding CCAS to him. Jordan Epstein came to a show knowing that he was not allowed at the space. A person involved in his accountability process told him that he needed to leave, which resulted in an argument where Jordan brought up to this person that he knew they were “shit talking” him because Alex had told him the details of previous conversations regarding CCAS. Alex had complained to Jordan that this person and others involved in his accountability process were badgering him about continuing to support the space.
Alex has socially manipulated and invalidated my experience of rape and of our relationship. Alex has incessantly talked to others about my experience of rape and our relationship. He has described my experience of rape as “unclear” and “just rough sex.” He has warned friends to “watch out” and “just don’t do it” in regards to becoming closer friends with me.
Alex has made attempts to resolve this situation through mediated discussion. There was a point where that was something I also wanted. However, the way that he has approached some of those conversations have been coercive and manipulative. I do not owe him a conversation and should not have to have one with him for him to seriously change his behavior.
In social situations where Alex and I are both present, if I am uncomfortable I am the one that has consistently needed to leave. I have often left alone or with one or two other people. I am tired of this being the case.
THIS IS WHERE THE LINE IS DRAWN IT IS NOT ABOUT FRIENDSHIP IT IS NOT “INTERPERSONAL” IT DOESN’T EXIST IN A VACUUM
It serves to force conversation that has consistently been avoided as a means to preserve “social peace” or derailed through the social manipulation of character and the use of social capital in masking abusive behavior.
If our friendships do not embody our politics, what the fuck are we doing?
Rape apologists, you’re not welcome in this city. Alex L., you’re not welcome in this city.
In talking and writing about this, I feel like if I do not present “objective facts” that my experience will not hold weight. This has proved to be true on multiple occasions. While there is an importance and necessity in explaining my perspective, I should not be expected to rid my emotions from this process nor have them act to discredit my experience.
I am not looking for sympathy. I need a voice. I need transparency. I need people to take shit seriously.
It’s important to add that I am not the only person that feels this strongly about Alex. Multiple people have taken issue with him on the basis of his selfishness, which becomes a threat to others comfort and safety, and his manipulative behavior.
“The media has treated the shootings in Oak Creek very differently from those that happened just two weeks earlier in Aurora. Only one network sent an anchor to report live from Oak Creek, and none of the networks gave the murders in Wisconsin the kind of extensive coverage that the Colorado shootings received. The print media also quickly lost interest, with the story slipping from the front page of the New York Times after Tuesday. If you get all your news from “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report,” you would have had no idea that anything had even happened on August 5th at all.”—Why Oak Creek Isn’t Being Treated as a Tragedy for All Americans : The New Yorker (via michaelzimmer)
Is there any way to prevent facebook’s timeline from displaying certain chunks of time? because I do not want it merrily displaying shit from my abusive ex, or death announcements, or my crazed post-breakdown ramblings, but the only way I saw to prevent that in my admittedly cursory examination is to do it post by post, which lol no thank you.
wait Austin isn't even rural, it's a major city? THE VOICE OF RURAL FEMINISM: a white guy with a history of being really vicious, emotionally manipulative, and borderline abusive towards women, who lives in a major city (and one with a reputation for being quite progressive in general). I mean, trying to find his address or something would be awful, but it's hardly irrelevant that he lives in a major city, since he's CLAIMING TO REPRESENT RURAL FEMINISTS
Don’t speculate about where I live (which is none of your business, by the by) and talk about finding me. That’s just common fucking…
Holy shit, did you just threaten to track Garland Grey down? No. No you did not. You did not do that at all. Christ.
and what exactly does this imply? I am a queer Latina woman; Garland Grey is a misogynist who has behaved horribly towards women here and probably irl as well. Did I threaten violence? Nope. I threatened to call him out on his well-documented bullshit. The horror.
in any case, Austin is overrun by mansplainy neckbeards, so lbr the chances of me picking him out of a crowd are pretty slim
Don’t speculate about where I live (which is none of your business, by the by) and talk about finding me. That’s just common fucking courtesy.
you can rest assured that I will provide you exactly the same kind of courtesy as you’ve provided to women who have disagreed with you :)
How very dare you viciously threaten to say true things irl about what a shitbag he is!
"sure, I’m pettily gossiping about women that I was horrible and vicious and mansplainy towards, but don’t you dare suggest that I live in a city of of over 800,000 people and that you might at some point be in my vicinity!”
every time you see a woman who doesn’t smile at you, garland, remember that woman might be me
If you’re a white man and you’re making money writing and talking about feminism
consider that nothing you have to say is unique
consider that everything you understand about feminism is knowledge built on the backs of women, especially women of colour, trans women, queer women, working-class women, etc
consider that any measure of financial success you have in this VERY MARGINAL field comes at the direct expense of women whose work is consistently financially undervalued (ie there is a reason why other white people find your work more marketable, palateable, worthy of compensation, etc than the work of, say, most women of colour, and it’s not because you’re just a special genuis, it IS because of racialized, gendered, etc dynamics of who gets paid and who doesn’t)
that doesn’t mean you have to stop writing and talking about feminism
but when someone challenges your status as a Professional Feminist
consider that you are a far, far, FAR cry from the victim in this scenario
Because I’m a crazy grudge-holding bitch I just want to remind everyone who was around/inform everyone who wasn’t that badcgijosh = joshishollywood who had a hilarious/terrible freakout about those crazy aggressive feminists who deny the reality of misandry
I see him on my dash all the time (and I’m not trying to like, make people who’ve reblogged his posts feel bad b/c it’s a lot of people and even I will admit that I see some of them and almost reblog them before I realize who it is, b/c he does say plenty of things that are funny and/or true if unfortunately ironic given the source) and I always end up thinking “really though?”
When this all happened a friend of mine criticized him too and got a bunch of rape threats and stuff and he was pretty dismissive and gross about that
I mean he could have changed and repented since then, WHO KNOWS, but every time I see him like, making fun of MRAs or Reddit or pondering why people are dismissive of oppression I just have to lol
>make posts ”calling out” queer women for having opinions on what the term “queer” means
>call anyone who disagrees a bully and a “fuckbasket”
>when someone rolls their eyes and makes an offhand remark about your Professional Feminist status, threaten them with backlash and talk about how “mean” you’re prepared to be to her
>make post after post blaming anyone who challenges your professional work for your depression and accusing them of not treating you like a person (because being a human being makes you exempt from criticism), ESPECIALLY women because how dare they not take responsibility for your emotional state!
>start a website claiming to represent feminism in rural areas
>point out how insignificant your critics contributions to feminism are, talk about how little you care about them and their opinions, encourage people to ignore them
Wouldn’t it be great if whenever men stared at your tits for more than five seconds your tits turned into dragons and bit off their faces?
Now I have the mental image of this happening during sex. A woman having sex with a man and as he is caressing her body gently and gazing over her—BAM! Dragon bites off his face and she is stuck in a horrific and bloody mess. And the man of her dreams is dead.
Hey, since I see so many people whine and moan that men who actually stand up to your bullshit can’t get laid, it is fair for me to say ridiculous man-hating bitches such as yourself probably don’t have tits worth looking at?
wow u sound really really mad
over a joke about dragon tits
look at your life, look at your choices
Yes. Me imagining someone’s ugly tits turning into dragons and biting the face off of their sex partner is me being angry.
You’re really really fucking stupid if you think this is me being “really really mad.”
It’s actually me sharing an amusing thought with my followers while pointing out yet another dumb fuck that exists on tumblr all at the same time. Which is the point of this tumblr.
Enjoy the obligatory gif that you can make fun of me for or some shit to make yourself feel better.
watch out, we got a badass here, ladies!!!
>edits peoples’ usernames to call them “dumbbitch” and “dumbfuck”
>”wahhh you’re just making fun of me to make yourselves feel better wahhhhhhh!”
lol at the choice of the Don Draper gif
of course they would select a self-hating disaster with no respect for women to represent them
“I’d also write songs in my lab, songs I would share with no one. There was one song about school being out for the summer, and “I’m So Happy, Someone Slap Me” was both the title and the only lyrics in the song, repeated over and over again. I also wrote a song about what I wanted to be when I grew up. There’s a really cool key change in the song that would be enough to make it my best work, but it also featured the lyric “I don’t wanna be a crocodile, I just wanna make you smile,” which I guess cancels out whatever goodwill I’d earned with the frankly inspired key change.
Why bring all of this up? Because, every night before I go to sleep, I thank God or Aliens or Neil Tyson or Luck or the Spectacular Randomness of the Universe that YouTube didn’t exist when I was a kid.”—
I hope that all these dudes who take the time to tell female bloggers they are wrong for posting sexii pics of male Olympians also take the time to tell off male bloggers for posting sexii pics of female Olympians. Otherwise I’m not listening to your “male objectification hurts society just as much as female objectification” argument, bro.
If anyone posts a sexually objectifying gif of a female athlete who appears to be searching desperately in her clothing to find what happened to her boobs, similar to this sad gif of Ryan Lochte searching for his penis, they might be forgiven Because that shit’s hilarious.
“On September 4th, 1907 five hundred white working men in Bellingham, WA gathered to drive a community of South Asian migrant workers out of the city. With the mission of “scar[ing] them so badly that they will not crowd white labor out of the mills,” the growing mob rallied and went to work. The rioters moved through town, breaking windows, throwing rocks, indiscriminately beating people, overpowering a few police officers, and pulling men out of their workplaces and homes. They eventually rounded up two hundred or so of the South Asian immigrant workers in the basement of City Hall to stay the night. The mob was successful in that within ten days the entire South Asian population departed town. Despite promises of protections from city officials, the South Asian workers well understood that there was no protection for them in Bellingham and migrated up and down the Pacific coast looking for safer and saner living conditions.”—
Most South Asians were described in the U.S. press as “low-caste Hindoos.” Significantly different attention was given to so-called “low-caste” and “high-caste” South Asian immigrants. Those perceived to be low-caste were described as of “poor class physically as well as mentally,” “more treacherous, if possible” than Japanese immigrants, with brains that do “not readily grasp even the elementary problems of this country.” They are “a dark mystic race” living in “tumble-down ‘shacks’ which a white man, even from southern Europe, would have spurned.”